Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wandering in Graceland

I'm probably going to talk to Derek soon. I wish I had something to tell him. I wish I could tell him I knew where he is or where my next step is. I wish I could tell him everything is going to be alright.

But I can't.

I wandered around Graceland today, just looking at everything, trying to see if there were any more clues. There weren't. Nothing except Elvis memorabilia, which looked as fake as the Oz memorabilia back in Kansas.

I want to stay awake. I don't want to sleep. I fell asleep once and dreamed I was in the sky falling. I was falling so fast I thought when I hit the ground I would be shattered into a million pieces. I don't even remember hitting the ground in my dream, I just woke up.

I don't know what Neville (or the Vagabond, or whatever his name was) was talking about. I don't know anything. I don't know what I'm doing.

1 comment:

  1. so many words to rightAugust 24, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    broken mirrors, shards of reflections, pieces of the other you. can you see it? out of the past, out of the present, an inexorable slide into the future, a line forever reaching, a string going forever upward into heaven.

    red in tooth and claw, red in blood and red in rage. anger at father, at mother, at world. the world changes around you in an increasing pace. omnes vulnerat, postuma necat.

    overhead, you see the sky. the sky so big and broken. the sky the color of television tuned to a dead channel. conquer the wind. conquer the air. conquer the sky.

    soon it will happen, everything will change. soon you will see, you will hear, you will taste and touch and watch as the world crumbles around you. soon.

    mother cooking dinner, can i help you mother, can i help. silver knife cuts the hand, makes a red line. don't touch. you could cut yourself. you could hurt yourself. go to your room.

    under the spreading chestnut tree, i sold you and you sold me. karen is dead. you killed her. you killed karen with the silver knife under the spreading chestnut tree.

    run run run all the way home, all the way to your room, don't look to the sky, the sky cannot help you.

    down the drain, all the blood goes down the drain. swirling like in psycho except that was a movie and this is reality. reality like a rock. love me like a rock.

    everything fades to black. the show is over, the credits roll. look, it's your favorite actress in all the starring roles. peek from your fingers, the show's over now. everything is black.

    remember this, a kiss is but a kiss. replace the ss with ll. ilsa looks to rick. here's looking at you kid. a beginning of a beautiful friendship. rewind and everything begins again.

    something is in the way, something stands in the way, something makes you forget. don't want to remember the silver knife or the fade to black. forget the show, it's not important, it's just a show. look, the blood's not even real, it's just chocolate syrup.

    and the man in the seersucker suit waves goodnight as the credits roll and we fill our roles and take our places and put on our masks.

    the ticktockman said "repent harlequin! repent!" take off the mask and underneath you are you. everyone is everyone else.

    ask a question and get another question. the trick is to know all the answers beforehand.

    near, so near. you are so close. don't stop.

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