help me

I think I'm going crazy.

I've been in Kill Devil Hills for three days. I don't remember most of it. I remember finding the messages and...sleeping. I was asleep. I was dreaming.

But then Derek posted this. Why don't I remember that? I have so many holes in my childhood, but I thought it was just time. Time washes away memories, right? Time wounds all heels.

I remember my dad. I remember him. Why didn't I remember his name when I read his obituary? Why didn't I remember Karen? Or Mr. Motley?

The Jester. The Jester did this. It has to be him. Not me. He did something to me. I can't. I can't have done things and not remembered them. Can I?

I flipped through Karen's diary again and recognized certain things. My handwriting as a child. The hiding space behind the bookshelf. Playing hide and seek with Derek. Reading Curious George. Why didn't I remember that back then?

And then I came to the last page and turned it and there was something else written:

Hello Grace, 

It's nice to meet you after all this time. There's probably so much going through your head (I know, it's my head, too) and I hate to add to this, but the Jester has given me the final clue. The place where your brother is hidden away. "Near the valley of the cross, there are six more than where you are." 

I've always wanted to meet you, but I knew I had to keep hidden. If you knew about me, what was to stop you from going to some psychiatrist for help and then where would I be? 

I hope you aren't mad at me, though. I tried to help. You may not remember some of your childhood, but believe me, you are lucky you don't. You were a nice kid, Grace. I wanted to keep you that way. 

I hope you win the Jester's game. And sleep well. 

Kevin B, the Lonesome Artist

I don't. I don't know where to go. What I'm supposed to do.

I think I'm going crazy.